Weekly World News - flag "fail"

I put "fail" in quotes, because, of course, everything in Weekly World News is a silly joke. After all, this is the paper that once defended itself in a libel case by telling the judge that no one actually believes anything they write. So I wasn't all that surprised by an article that claims Mexico will be the 51st state. It's all in good fun. But what was surprising was the flag they used to illustrate the story (above). It has 140 stars! I could understand a 51-star flag, or maybe a flag with 81 stars.... adding in the 31 states of Mexico. But a 140 star flag? Does no one at the paper know how many states we have? Or did they think their audience is stupid enough to think that 50 + 1 = 140. Oh.

Which 51-star flag do you like?

Which 51-star flag design do you think the USA should adopt when Puerto Rico becomes a state? Given the president's trip to Puerto Rico today, statehood should be a done deal. (Kidding!) Still, when we do get a new state, we'll have to redesign the flag. The three likely candidates are above. Which do you like? I kind of like the one on the right.

California's first flag revealed

What the heck was the animal on California's first flag? And who designed this monstrosity? Here's the backstory: In 1846, California was a part of Mexico, not the United States. Nonetheless, a lot of Americans were moving there and the newcomers didn’t much like the idea of Mexican rule. Things were getting tense.

Into the middle of this drama stepped America's top government official in the region—John Fremont. Passing through the Sacramento area in June 1846, Fremont decided it was time for America to take California—and he authorized an overthrow of the Mexican government. In reality, Mexico had very few resources  in California, and the takeover required little more than knocking on the door of Mexican General Mariano Vallejo, and asking him to surrender. Vallejo was enthusiastic about the idea. He offered everyone a round of brandy--and asked the Americans if he could join them. Fremont responded by putting Vallejo in jail at Sutter’s Fort.

Conquerors like to raise flags, and Fremont and his associates were no exception (See above). The animal in the middle that resembles a pig--is actually a bear. Thus this victory came to be called the Bear Flag Revolt. The man who designed the flag was William Todd—the nephew of Abraham Lincoln. It's not clear how Todd got the job, since his artistic ability seems indistinguishable from that of a 2nd grader. Nonetheless, a bear remains on the California flag to this day.... although more-gifted artists have since re-imagined a bear that looks more, well... bear-like.

It's worth noting that the original Bear Flag was destroyed, but accurate sketches and other documentation were gathered to create our reproduction. You can see a bigger version of our flag here. (Updated. Thanks Judah!)

Rep. Tom Marino's map mess—& we break his next scandal!

US Rep. Tom Marino took a lot of heat last week when it appeared he didn't know Libya was in Africa. But was this really a major gaffe? Or just a misunderstanding? Our crack staff dug a bit deeper into the geographic goof of the week. First the backstory: Marino was discussing America's role in Libya when he was quoted as saying, "Is the mission to take Gadhafi out? Where does it stop? Do we go into Africa next?"  Marino claims that since US ground troops are not in Africa now, he was just wondering if that was the president's plan. However, many snarky pundits interpreted his quote as meaning he didn't know Libya is in Africa. But could a US Congressman really make an error of that magnitude? To answer that question, we poked around Marino's web site... and found surprising evidence. In fact, the photo above—if you know what to look for—seals it.  Read on for all the shocking details...

4 in 10 Americans want to annex Canada

A very well-administered poll by Leger Marketing of Montreal found that nearly four in 10 Americans favor annexing Canada. So should we get ready to fly a 60-star flag (ABOVE)? Not quite yet. The same poll found only 2 in 10 Canadians wanted to join the U.S. That statistic makes it seem like Canadians have a low opinion of the U.S.--then again, nearly 60 percent of our northern neighbors are in favor of adopting the U.S. dollar as their national currency. Yes, you read that right... they like our money, but don't want to become citizens. That's kinda like the boyfriend who wants all the privileges of living together, but doesn't want to get married. C'mon Canadians, time to commit. And if you don't want to lose your unique culture, maybe we should join you. Yeah, if Canada annexes the U.S., then America's huge national debt would go "poof" because there would be no America. (Enough silly ranting... but do check out the poll here)

Long Island "state flag"

I'm sure that Cesidio Tallini is an excellent designer... and I'm certainly not against Long Island statehood. But the color combination he chose for the state flag of Long Island... is kinda giving me a headache. I thought it was just me, but some specialists in color theory at Penn State agree that orange-on-blue is  a no-no. But don't give up Cesidio... just tweak the colors a bit! Read more here from the Long Island statehood site. And look away before you get a headache!

Is Alaska leaving the U.S.??

Is Alaska leaving the United States? Newsweek magazine tosses around the idea this week. It's not as bizarre as you might think. There is a growing independence party in Alaska; the state has lots of natural resources; and it's only been a U.S. state for 51 years. Heck it wasn't that long along that Alaska was part of Russia. Of course, de-statehood would be a boon to flag makers--we'd all have to go back to a 49 star flag (above).

Fly your (51-star) flag

The 4th of July is the perfect weekend to fly your 51-star flag. Show your solidarity with the fine folks of Puerto Rico.... or Washington D.C... or the state of Superior... or the 51st state of your choice. We've had 50 stars for 50 July 4ths... time to expand the flag. Above is a picture of my 51-star flag in front of my house. If you don't have one yet, you can get a flag here.

Why we can't have 87 states

On flag day you may have heard about mathematician Skip Garibaldi's computer program designed to figure out how our flag would look as we add more states. Garibaldi's program used the typical patterns we've used over the centuries... and allows you to click through all the possibilities. What's weird is that any state number would work just fine... EXCEPT 87 and 69. Those two numbers just can't be configured to work using traditional patterns. I guess we should name them the "Garibaldi Numbers"... for the guy who discovered this kryptonite of the American flag. Check out the interactive map for yourself. It's fun! 

Flag Day can make you rich!

Monday is Flag Day - a holiday that originated just a few miles from my home here in Ozaukee County, Wisconsin. How can Flag Day make you rich? When America adds a 51st (and 52nd state) everyone is going to need new flags to display on Flag Day (...and Memorial Day, and the 4th of July....) So my best get-rich tip is to buy stock in a flag-making company. Because if you've read Lost States, you've learned that adding more states is inevitable. It's what we do as Americans. So get your shares of Anin and Company, the oldest and largest manufacturer of flags in the U.S. (And no, they didn't pay me anything to make this suggestion.)  Above is the design I like for a 51 star flag.

51-star flag revealed

A new flag. That's what we'll need when America adds the 51st state. And you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the 51-star flag has already been prepared.  Yes, that little state secret leaked out when the man who designed the 50-star flag passed away a few days ago. Read all about this modern day Betsy Ross (actually Bob Heft).