How to win the Oscar

Here's how to win the Oscar: play the most movie-worthy real-life character in American history. The guy's name was William Bowles. Never heard of him? Read on: Here's a guy who gets kicked out of the U.S. military, joins a Creek tribe, marries the chief's daughter, consolidates several Native American nations, becomes their king, rallies the native people against an evil empire, gets captured and thrown into a Spanish prison, escapes, takes over a British ship, becomes a pirate—and there's more. In the third act he leads a ragtag force of 60 men in a takeover of  Spanish fort. A huge Spanish force is dispatched to capture him, but they get lost. Eventually, after a series of action-packed battles, he is betrayed, captured by the enemy, and dies in a castle dungeon in Havana. OK, we have to change the ending. But can't you see Johnny Depp in this part? Or who do you think he looks like? Who should play him on the big screen? (Oh, along the way, he started a new state.... which is why he's mentioned here... and in the book!)